Finding Safety, building Hope

A Conversation with Center of Hope’s Cindy Sims.

by Caroline White

You may know that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but did you know that it’s also Domestic Violence Awareness Month? To bring some awareness to the topic of domestic violence, we had the opportunity to connect with the Executive Director of Center of Hope, Cindy Sims.

Center of Hope is a local nonprofit here in Columbia that serves victims of domestic violence, sexual assault, human trafficking, and stalking across Middle Tennessee. They provide the whole range of services that a victim needs to begin their healing journey, including:

  • Safe houses for victims fleeing their abusers

  • Court advocacy in four counties

  • Case management

  • Sexual assault victim advocates

  • Forensic exam clinics through Maury Regional and Marshall Medical

  • Transitional apartments or up to six months of rent

  • Educational programs

  • Outreach programs

These services are always free and always confidential.

Every individual who contacts Center of Hope is connected with an advocate who will walk them through every step of their healing process. Whether that entails medical care, court advocacy, or therapeutic care, Center of Hope believes that support for victims of domestic violence should be free, safe, and easy to access.

When asked what she wished more people knew about abuse, whether physical or emotional, Cindy expressed that she wished there was greater awareness about how abusive relationships begin. They start as seemingly good, nurturing, loving relationships, and over time regress into abuse through manipulation, accusations, gaslighting, and isolation. These changes unfold little by little until a person finds themselves isolated and facing emotional or physical distress under the guise of their partner’s insecurity, past relationships, or trauma. Cindy was clear that all abuse isn’t only physical; it very often begins and progresses as emotional abuse.

Having witnessed what healing from domestic violence looks like firsthand, we asked Cindy what healing and rebuilding can look like after living in an abusive relationship for an extended period of time. Her response was that the central focus of healing after abuse is learning to rethink everything your abuser told about yourself. Being able to believe in yourself and remember your strengths is a crucial part of the healing process, as a person’s good and beautiful qualities were distorted or weaponized by their abuser. Center of Hope supports this reestablishment of the victim’s identity by connecting them with advocates, and eventually counselors, who work with victims to trust themselves and believe in themselves again.

Noticing and naming abuse is easier for loved ones of victims to do. We asked Cindy how, as friends and families of victims, we can support them and respect their choices. Her response was simple: listen to and believe the victim. After working so long with victims of domestic violence, Cindy has noticed that nobody leaves an abusive relationship until they decide of their own accord that they can no longer stay. Until the victim makes that decision themselves, Center of Hope is eager to offer resources to their family and friends. Advocates are able to walk a loved one through how to set boundaries with a victim while still offering them support, as well as how to identify specific needs that a victim might have.

If you have a heart for victims of domestic violence, Center of Hope would love to have you as a volunteer. Volunteering with or donating to Center of hope is easy, impactful, and practical. They accept all types of donations: money, clothing, food, household items, and so much more. Most of these donations fund Center of Hope’s thrift boutique, which provides survivors of domestic violence with clothes and household items as they begin a new chapter of their life. If you are interested in volunteering or donating, you can do so by emailing Cindy at csims@centerofhopetn.org or call the Center of Hope office at 931-840-0916. Any and all help is greatly appreciated!

Part of domestic violence is living in the uncertainty of whether or not to seek help. We asked Cindy what she would want someone to know who is concerned about their relationship, but unsure whether to reach out. Her reply was once again simple: reach out and ask questions. Center of Hope’s services are free, confidential, and non-judgmental. They are always happy to guide a person through what their unique healing journey might look like.

Kind Mind Counseling is so grateful for this opportunity to learn from someone who is daily advocating for victims of domestic violence. This experience has been transformational for us, and we hope it has been for you, too, reader.

If you or someone you love is experiencing domestic violence, or if you just want to learn more about it, you can contact Center of Hope by phone, email, or via their website.